Hey guys. I know its been awhile since ive written but a lot of stuff has been happening. So, that guy i was talking about... yeah.. hmm i love him. and he loves me. crazy, right? we started going out a few days ago and its amazing. im moving up to georgia for college and everything will all be okay. im doing okay in school. its okay i guess. its pointless but its good. anyway.. all i can say right now is that i love my boyfriend cuz hes super amazing.

"not so troubled...and just as talkative"

lindsey ...ill write soon.

Car parts and insecurities!
Mood:  spacey

hey guys.. i know i haven't written in awhile.. which is sad.. this icon describes me perfectly. im gonna try to insert an icon or picture in every entry..something that means something to me.. i dunno. i was thinking today about how insecure i am.. and its depressing because i build myself up. only to have other people bring me down. thats okay. i dont need the world. the only people i need are the people that mean something to me.. so its okay.. i put people on a pedestal. i believe in people and trust in them and then they let me down and i've put myself in them so much emotionally that it hurts twice as bad than if i would've pretended i never cared. i love this blog. i can let everything out and half the people reading it dont know me. for the people that do, this is me. i'm never true to myself, let alone to anyone else. no one will ever know me probably. unless they're very observant. if someone KNOWS me..then they deserve my attention. if someone pays close enough attention to realize who i am and who i'd like to be... they deserve everything i have..including my honesty.. yet.. i dont think that will ever happen. people dont care. you know those people who ask how your doing and keep walking? yeah..they're only asking because they're being polite.  if they wanted to know..they'd look you in the eye, stop walking and ask how you were...truly ask how you are...and..that goes both ways.. like when someone asks and you say "fine" or "good" and keep going... no ones ever actually asked how i am...except for a few people when they could tell i was bummed about something and i figure if they're going to ask... i'll tell them..."well, actually kinda shitty but everythings good cuz im a very optimistic person and i'll be ok" lol .. haha thats sad, isn't it? i wish i could type out or put on paper all the things i think...deep thoughts..thoughts that keep me up at night and make me ask questions that definately dont make sense sometimes...

on a happier note, i got my job! advanced discount auto parts! lol wow.. go lindsey! HaHa...i count car parts all day and get dirty and hang around a bunch of guys! lol my dream job, i know. lol just kidding! but i make enough money to like it. well, im outta here guys! i hope you understand what i said in this...because sometimes i dont even understand what im thinking. i just type and see what happens...

lindsey

fingernail polish and laundry
Mood:  lyrical
Now Playing: who i am hates who i've been by Relient K

i've been alone in my house for like 2 days now! lol i've painted my nails atleast 8 times and i've done like 2165697 loads of laundry! sad, huh? yeah probably.. and i made this blog.. who else am i gonna complain to? lol jk.. it wont be that much torture. i promise. its Thursday and no one will be home till saturday! gayy!!! lol but i have volunteering tomorrow so i dont care. i dont like being alone all that much. even though i have to say that being alone isn't as bad as being lonely. which i am not. so.. thats good i guess. i have tons of my friends. they are amazing. they invite me to all these places. too bad i can't go. but my life will be normal again in about 2 weeks..and one week of that is bandcamp so.. its cool. atleast, i wont be bored to death. ill just be hot and miserable! lol yes.. i love band. can't you tell? after these 2 weeks.. i start my job.. yay!! lol i can't wait. i'll have money and my mom will finally leave me alone about it. and i'll get to prove her wrong. i always like that.. lol anywayz.i dunno. she told me the other day that i would never see the job.. like the guy was lying to me and i'd never work there because he really didn't want me to work there. i loved that. its amazing. the things she'll say to bring me down is amazing. it takes a lot to make me annoyed or mad. cuz im more patient than most people. and im more upbeat and happy than most. but i finally gave up trying to be happy when she was around. i love my mom and i couldn't ask for sumone better who could support the family and be there when she was needed, but she loves to be negative and bring people down. we're so different sumtimes, it amazes me. lol my stepdad is in las vegas, so he's not a problem right now. yeah..it was funny though cuz he invited my mom to go to las vegas and then took it back. lmfao! she's been getting onto him too! which makes it funnier cuz he talks about her to ME. haha. i love it. ok.. no i dont love it. i dont love it when my stepdad and mom fight. but its nothing serious. it's always little fights that they laugh about like an hour later.. lol oh well... we'll see what happens when it happens i suppose. im outta here guys..

i have a lot of cleaning to do!!! lol

<3 lindsey

virgin entry
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: probably wouldn't be this way by leann rimes
this is my first entry on this blog. ive been feeling totally lost lately. my dad has pretended i didn't exist for 17 and 1/2 years. and now hes back. wondering if he can be a father to me. wow.. and my mom has been a little bit lately. everything lately is a putdown with her. if im not feeling like crap, the day is not complete.. thats okay with me. lol. that sounds horrible but i've been spending all my time in my room. its my summer vacation and im not aloud to go anywhere, cuz..thats my punishment for..i dunno..being born i guess. i dont know. i spent 6 hours yesterday cleaning. horrible, right? im 17 and i spent 6 hours cleaning!!! anywayz..i think im listening to the saddest song of eternity. if you have a song more sad than the one i listed in Now playing...comment it back to me.. cuz i'm pretty sad now! lmao. so..i met this great guy. i wont mention his name. i'll let the concept of me actually SUPER liking someone settle with you for a second. he's on my mind everyday..if i was foolish, i might think its love. but the mature person inside me is coming out. ya know..the one who doesn't wanna get hurt. and that person says that i wont ever love anyone. thats sad. maybe i'll fight with that part of myself later. lol on to bigger and better things, i got my schedule for my senior year in highschool..yeah..i said it.. my SENIOR year.. lol i can't wait. i can't say where i'm going after this. it depends on me and the people around me. i have AP psychology and economics and american government.. which you know.. im totally excited about *major sarcasm*
lol well im coming to the end of my blog. thats just a quick recap. for the people that know me well, that just leads off of what i've been telling you for the time i've known you. if your new to my "trouble and talkative" life... i'll fill you in when i have major time.. cuz thats what it'll take... major time.. lol.

peace out lol
linds